Live with a dynamic spirit that is hindered by nothing.

So,

I am 30 minutes into a 3 hour car ride with my dad heading to Boone for my brother’s graduation.  Wahoooooo.  My father has the Pitbull Pandora station on. Pitbull. I set up this blog several weeks ago but haven’t posted yet!

Since last I wrote a blog post, a lot has happened.  NC guy moved to Chicago and things fell apart fast. I feel responsible. I feel guilty. I feel like I messed up somebody’s life. Not a good feeling.

Recent dudes:

1. Dad Z. This guy is in his early thirties and has two kids, though the two times we met up, he only spoke about his daughter. He also mentioned that his ex took him on Judge Mathis. I found the episode, but don’t know how to find it to actually watch it. Anybody know how? On our first date, we met up at a coffee shop. We stayed there for a bit. Then walked North and ended up at a library, playing chess, and holding hands (ugh if you know how I feel about that stuff so early). We went out again a week later and had dinner in my neighborhood at Appellation. So delicious. I’m going to try making lamb meatballs this week. 

2. Dummy J.  This guy is in his early thirties. Still not too sure what he does for work. But he was cute and fun and had the sweetest golden doodle.  He was not super bright, though. We hung out like 4 times in the course of a week. I tried to slow fade.  I think dating has turned me into a jerk. I haven’t been treating guys very well. From now on, I will be kinder and more respectful. 

3. Blind date. I went on a totally blind date. We met up at a bar near my Monday-Thursday school. Spent 4.5 hours talking.  It was fun. Cocktails were better than okay, but not wowee.  He drove me home and neither of us mentioned hanging out again. He had a loud voice and a very mild stutter. He was nice and reminded me of my old roommate.

4. The 43 year old. He was so clever and witty and charming. But 43 is 43. What was I thinking going out with somebody 13 years older than me? Seriously. I told a few friends I was doing this and nobody was like, “Hey, Agnes, that’s not a great idea.” He did take me to a really neat store on Ashland, just north of Chicago, where I got a new antique button ring. I hadn’t gotten any new antique button jewelry in years! He also took me to a bar that I ended up liking quite a bit called Innertown Pub.

5. Lawyer D. We haven’t met up yet. But we all know I have a thing for Craigslist Lawyers. Hahaha. He is 35. Wears suits. And seems like a good mix of fun, serious, and handsome. 

6. The Crush.  Saw him for the first time since Dead Mom Day. It was good. 

I used Bumble for a couple of weeks and just deleted it off of my phone. Meh. Typically I’m positive and upbeat about dating. Meeting new people is fun. But since Thursday, my date with the older guy, I’ve been off. I have finally gotten my pre-No Nickname C self back.  I lost myself with him. I quit doing what made me happy under the guise of being happy with him. And I became one of those girls. Those girls that suddenly are totally fine not doing anything apart from the guy. Silly me. So I’m back and a little bit better than before. I have more friends. I can play ukulele, sort of. I have had a really great work year.  By the way, I recently renegotiated my contract for next year and got what I asked for after saying no to two previous offers. Also, I’ve been cooking. I’ve been more responsible with money.  Anyway.

Saw this painting in Old Town and really liked it,