So good that you can’t explain it, What can I say, it’s complicated


I am at a hotel in Downers Grove right now. In about 30 minutes, I leave for a hair appointment. DDD is sleeping.  I’m thinking about changes and coffee and life and delicious food and merlot from the rehearsal dinner last night and late night chats and a whole bunch of other stuff. One of my closest friends, if not the closest friend in Chicago, is getting married today. I’ve never believed in THE ONE. There are way too many people in the world for you to only be meant to be with one. What would be the chances for finding one person among 7 billion, you know? But, obviously, there are certain people we connect with and can build lives with more easily and in a more fun way with than with others. And I think it’s incredible whenever people close to me find those people. I love weddings.  There’s so much emotion (which can be hard for me) and love and laughter and people caring for each other. And then the more superficial things like booze, music, dressing up. Anyway. It’s my first time being a bridesmaid.  I have a sprained ankle, but that’s okay.

I’ve been reading a book recently called Play Anything: The Pleasure of Limits, the Uses of Boredom, and the Secret of Games. It has challenged how I think of “fun.”

We think fun means enjoyment, and that we want the enjoyment above all else. But we’re wrong. Fun is the aftermath of deliberately manipulating a familiar situation a new way.

…We could all benefit by being reared by the blind. Living with things requires that we become continuously blinded to them, that we exercise the ability to see them fresh, familiar or not, by refusing to allow them to collapse into servants or obstacles. Blindness, fun, play, limits, constraints-all these are synonyms for humility. There between earnestness and cynicism […] we can also find solace if we are willing to pause long enough to stop scolding things for failing to yield us comfort. This is the pleasure of limits, the fun of play. Not doing what we want, but doing what we can with what is given.

Don’t have time to get into it now. I think it’s important to have that kind of FUN in life.

This is a rambling post. Sorry.

I’m excited to see my dad and brother for Thanksgiving next month. Excited to vote for Hilary. To wear my bridesmaid dress. To go to PT to help with my ankle. Do Sunday crossword puzzles with DDD. To keep trying new things and enjoying myself.

But most of all, I’m excited for my friend to start a new chapter of her life with a man she loves, who loves her. I’d like to think that I had a part in their finding of each other.  It makes me smile. I’m going to be a cry baby today and that’s okay too. Cheers.



I’m headed straight for the castle.


Not a whole lot of super exciting stuff has happened in the past few weeks, hence no posts. It’s Sunday morning and it’s been a busy weekend for me thus far.  Yesterday I had a daytime bachelorette party to attend and then an annual party in the evening. It was tiring because I had to be on and around a lot of people all day.  But I did meet some new people and I had fun. I finally got to have high tea.  We went to the Peninsula Hotel which is BEAUTIFUL.  I still want to go to The Drake for tea around Christmas when it’s all decorated.  This year, I have to find new Christmas things to do in the city.  ARE THERE EVEN CHRISTMAS THINGS I HAVEN’T DONE IN CHICAGO? I don’t think so. I got to have a cheese flaky from Dinkels. Yum. There were three left and 6 people in front of us. I was worried that there wouldn’t be any for me by the time it was our turn to order. This is starting to get disorganized. Oh well.

After eating glorious smoked shitake mushrooms at Fat Rice and researching how to make them, I bought a stovetop smoker (I still very much am in love with Amazon).  Last weekend, I made baby back ribs in the smoker. Invited friends over and made two racks with different rubs. I even used the BBQ sauce I made from scratch. I’ve known that I’ve enjoyed baking for a while, but realizing that I enjoy cooking for people has been a recent discovery for me. I wish my apartment was more conducive to get togethers and big dinners. I also made cornbread and bourbon creamed corn to go with the ribs. It was SO GOOD. I bought pork tenderloin (but one get one free at Jewel!) and am going to smoke those guys next. Just waiting for my applewood smoke chips to arrive. Next, I want to get a pressure cooker.  Then I’ll be able to make pork belly. Yes.

Que mas? Works has been interesting this year. I feel like there is a lot of anxiety and negativity everywhere.  It takes extra effort to remain laid back and positive in that environment. It’s harder to stay in my speech bubble.  BUT, I’m doing well. This school year has been fantastic. Manageable caseload. Cute kindergarteners for rti. My own space. Getting closer to some of the staff. One week and then FALL BREAK! Though I will still come in some of the days to do paperwork and stuff.

Stuff with DDD is in a good place too. He’s sitting a few feet away now doing work. It had been a while since I introduced a new person in my life to several of my close friends. It’s kinda fun doing that.  You realize two things:

  1. How much you like said new person in your life and how fun it is when he gets along with your friends
  2. How awesome your friends are

Soon it will be time for us to go for a walk to pick up the Sunday newspaper. We’ve been doing the Sunday crossword for like 4 or 5 weeks now. It’s really fun. And then Luke Cage watching time. Wahoo!

I miss my brother.  I usually go to NC over the summer for a week or so, but because I went to Poland this year, I ran out of time. I want him to hang out with me here and I want to cook with him and all that good stuff.

Anyway. This has gotten long enough!

I painted this cherry blossom yesterday. It can go with my other bachelorette party painting. In case you’ve forgotten what that was, see below.