So good that you can’t explain it, What can I say, it’s complicated


I am at a hotel in Downers Grove right now. In about 30 minutes, I leave for a hair appointment. DDD is sleeping.  I’m thinking about changes and coffee and life and delicious food and merlot from the rehearsal dinner last night and late night chats and a whole bunch of other stuff. One of my closest friends, if not the closest friend in Chicago, is getting married today. I’ve never believed in THE ONE. There are way too many people in the world for you to only be meant to be with one. What would be the chances for finding one person among 7 billion, you know? But, obviously, there are certain people we connect with and can build lives with more easily and in a more fun way with than with others. And I think it’s incredible whenever people close to me find those people. I love weddings.  There’s so much emotion (which can be hard for me) and love and laughter and people caring for each other. And then the more superficial things like booze, music, dressing up. Anyway. It’s my first time being a bridesmaid.  I have a sprained ankle, but that’s okay.

I’ve been reading a book recently called Play Anything: The Pleasure of Limits, the Uses of Boredom, and the Secret of Games. It has challenged how I think of “fun.”

We think fun means enjoyment, and that we want the enjoyment above all else. But we’re wrong. Fun is the aftermath of deliberately manipulating a familiar situation a new way.

…We could all benefit by being reared by the blind. Living with things requires that we become continuously blinded to them, that we exercise the ability to see them fresh, familiar or not, by refusing to allow them to collapse into servants or obstacles. Blindness, fun, play, limits, constraints-all these are synonyms for humility. There between earnestness and cynicism […] we can also find solace if we are willing to pause long enough to stop scolding things for failing to yield us comfort. This is the pleasure of limits, the fun of play. Not doing what we want, but doing what we can with what is given.

Don’t have time to get into it now. I think it’s important to have that kind of FUN in life.

This is a rambling post. Sorry.

I’m excited to see my dad and brother for Thanksgiving next month. Excited to vote for Hilary. To wear my bridesmaid dress. To go to PT to help with my ankle. Do Sunday crossword puzzles with DDD. To keep trying new things and enjoying myself.

But most of all, I’m excited for my friend to start a new chapter of her life with a man she loves, who loves her. I’d like to think that I had a part in their finding of each other.  It makes me smile. I’m going to be a cry baby today and that’s okay too. Cheers.



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