So,
I don’t know where to start. I can start with the serious things that have been going on in my brain. Then we’ll finish with the dating stuff.
I never talk or write about politics or race or feminism or the environment. It’s mostly because I feel uneducated about those areas and I don’t like talking about things I don’t know about. There is just SO MUCH information out there that I get overwhelmed just by looking at all the books, articles, shows, documentaries, podcasts that exist on subtopics within those larger fields, that I give up before I start because I don’t know how or where to start. I figure somebody else will do it or inform me. Or other people who are better than me will affect change. Being passive in the world right now isn’t going to cut it. I don’t want to be a passive, do-nothing person anymore. I’ve been making a reading list to educate myself on matters of race because everybody needs to step up in whatever way they can to keep the momentum going. That being said, if anybody is interested in reading some books with me let me know.
Now, the dumb stuff:
B: I did end up hearing from him 3 days after our walk. We messaged a tiny bit and then met up again Tuesday. I brought my kites with me, but the wind had died down by then. I was surprised that he was into the idea of flying kites with me, as not every guy responds positively to things like that. We talked a lot more this time, talked about who had the cuter nephew, and watched a really great action movie called Bloodsport. He has a tattoo of Willie Nelson fighting Willie Nelson. He made a Lyle Lovett hair reference and was super surprised that I got it. I’d see him again. Though I still don’t know what he does or what he thinks of me.
W: I ended up hearing from him too. A week and a half after we walked. After some small talk, I told him that I was surprised to hear from him because he seemed uninterested in me (hurray for being direct, right?). He apologized and said that he’s terribly awkward and bad at first impressions and that he overthinks a lot. We’ve messaged some and he’s kept the conversation going. We’ll see.
Same-name-T: this is a new Bumble guy. We texted a lot for two days and then had a video chat last night. I had been really excited to have the video chat but I have since been processing what he told me about things that have happened in his life the past few years and I literally can’t deal with it. It’s not my issue to deal with, obviously, but it’s just too much. Sometimes, there is just TOO MUCH extra-large sized baggage that people carry with them. But, again, in the spirit of being direct, I’m going to tell him what’s going on in my brain. I don’t want to be a Mark.
German M: popped back up. I was direct with him too and told him I had no idea what he wanted from me and that he had to be direct with me even if he thought it was going to hurt my feelings, otherwise I was done. So he started with “I mean I’m emotionally conflicted…” Why do guys always assume that women want more. Get over yourself. So we made plans. And I was really excited…until plans changed a bit the morning of the day we were going to meet. I cancelled. I think this circle might just be closed.
I stumbled upon my SECOND poppy in one week. This one is growing in the parking lot of a church on Damen near Winnemac Park.
Hindered by Nothing 